Dream Keeper
A little girl looked at me completely without emotion, her "older brother" standing beside her. She was all in white, he was all in black. There was nothing around, not even a floor visible underfoot—only emptiness.
"Never come here again," the "brother" said calmly...
I woke up drenched in sweat, in the first moments understanding nothing: someone was squeezing my lungs, I couldn't breathe, my heart was pounding as if trying to tear out of my chest and hide far away from that voice. This agony seemed like an eternity until a quiet sigh escaped my throat—and then it all passed, I took a deep breath, trying to catch my breath, my heart began
to calm down, my vision cleared.I got up from the couch and headed to the bathroom, trying to figure out what had scared me so much along the way. Looking carefully in the mirror, I noticed a couple of gray hairs on my head. Quite strange, considering I'm 20 years old. Staring back at me from the mirror was a decent-looking guy who had completely stopped taking care of himself: hadn't been to a barber in a long time, settling for a haircut his mother gave him, at his height of 183cm weighing 95 kg, slouching, still not knowing a woman's body, meanwhile having acquired a whole bouquet of complexes and not understanding how he had sunk to this...
But it didn't bother me much, I was used to being like this, and so I was hopeless. My whole life was spent trying to escape reality: I spent many hours in front of the computer, forgetting to go outside to at least get some fresh air, got drunk in the evenings to fall asleep in a drunken stupor. No, I'm not lonely at all, I have friends, I have female friends, I live with my parents, so there was no lack of communication, but my whole life was so monotonous, bland...
Many days passed after that morning. I'm meeting up with friends for a birthday and at the last moment find out we're going to a club located in a small village twenty minutes from the city. At the club, I realize it's not my thing—no, I'm not against music, but dancing! No way, count me out. BUT after a couple of hours, the alcohol took its toll, and I stepped onto the small dance floor, which was so crowded I was even surprised where so many young people came from in such a hole. We were like sardines in a can, constantly bumping into others. I turned my head and saw her: a toned body, in tight jeans and an orange top. She beckoned me with her finger—for some reason I wasn't surprised and just moved closer to her. We danced like crazy until a slow song started. I hugged her and we began dancing to the rhythm of the song, singing the words to each other. Her name was Tanya, she was here with friends celebrating buying a car—that's basically all I learned about her...
"How did you end up here?" she asked.
"I'm here celebrating a friend's birthday..." I replied, "but now I'm here for you!" I hastily corrected myself.
"Good boy," she said with a chuckle and held me tighter.
"I won't let you go, never," she murmured at the end of the dance.
We danced non-stop, our dance becoming more and more passionate: here we are moving, looking at each other in the mirror, here our two bodies, wet with sweat, getting closer and closer, my knee wedging between her legs, we make rhythmic movements to the music, moving faster and faster, a shiver runs through her body, and a moan escapes her throat... Another slow song. We press tightly against each other again. She looked at me and locked onto my lips. I shuddered as if electrocuted—this was my first real kiss, full of passion that didn't let me go for a long time. We kissed for a long time, a very long time, perhaps an entire eternity. I became frenzied and literally started licking her face, she didn't resist...
The night was coming to an end, the club was closing, everyone was getting ready to leave. Going outside, I waited for her. When she came out, my heart sank: the ideal had collapsed. Before me stood an extremely drunk girl with an absent gaze, directed somewhere past me. She approached me and I, understanding where this would lead, began saying goodbye to her:
"Did you like it?"
"Yes, very much," she replied.
"Let's do it again sometime," I said for some reason, "see you."
"See you," her gaze unchanged, "well, I'll go then?"
"Yes, bye," I replied, understanding I wouldn't see her again.
We got back to the city, and after congratulating the birthday boy one last time, we all went our separate ways home. I lay down on the couch and closed my eyes...
I'm in a room dimly lit by an orange light. On the bed is a naked girl so similar to a goddess. I lie down next to her, kiss her lips, embrace her. Our bodies merge into one, we are happy, it's our first time—for both of us. I feel her scents, which seem so familiar, feel the velvet of her skin, taste her kisses, I feel everything, remember everything, but I didn't remember her face...
I woke up...
You might ask, am I happy in the world of my dreams? I don't think so... Because I've learned that reality is better, but I still can't get used to it. That's why at 20 years old, I'm still a virgin...
If you want to give advice or well-wishes, write to me at Tоdrоk@yаndеx.ru, perhaps you are the one who can help me deal with this problem.