Make up your mind...

..not let you go? I am not holding you yet, I do not feel your hand at my lips… you are struggling… if I now force you to make any decision in any way — I will be wrong, I will be dishonest with you… I do not know what will be tomorrow, and "today," what we can create now frightens you… the virtual world… I would call it differently, although this name is beautiful and clearly speaks for itself — the true world of emotions and experiences — we really are winding coil after coil of our desires mixed with unrealized feelings plus a huge desire for passion.

A person cannot unlearn to desire experiences and (good)

shocks — cannot help but often desire to feel the adrenaline of an explosion of emotions… one thing I can say now is that right now we are moving in parallel, and that is the best thing one can experience — to experience together, simultaneously — that is true pleasure… to rush about — there is no point — we must decide… a feeling born in a virtual affair — is purer and more defenseless than anything else — one can disappear from the other's life — in an instant… — but that is foolish… why lie in a virtual affair, for what?… this is precisely a chance to experience something inaccessible… or something so fleeting in real life that the hunger never passes, but the taste is forgotten… in our letters — we are ourselves, not invented puppets, invented by those around us… this is not our protective shell for the inner world — this is us, this is — a nerve… pain — yes… always when we gain something — we lose… , but are the losses in real life commensurate with those in virtual… although I remain true to my convictions that real life — is the apogee of a virtual feeling, but will we, upon meeting, remain ourselves — where is the guarantee that we won't put on our everyday masks or simply turn everything into farce-humor…

look — I am talking you out of it… an unmercenary (mother of it) (sorry) — it is not easy for me to write this — I am not playing when telling about my experiences, but to tear you out of your daily routine — is a great responsibility — no need to say that you are a mature girl… — I am responsible for you… and I am not indifferent to what you feel…

To give you back to your world — is frightening, bitter… all that will be left for me is to burn out inside… but will you be able to so easily immediately erase from your head a dozen, another dozen of our letters, filled with tenderness and warmth… I could not be mistaken about you — not easy… but if it is necessary, you must do it — formulate the reason? — our relationship should not harmfully affect those around us — either the world is only ours, where there will be only you and I, or another scar on the soul and absolute apathy towards beloved romantic inclinations… at least, no matter how captivating the internet is — I will not enter its abyss again… I will not give you a single piece of advice — a clue, I will be cruel — you will decide everything yourself… your world is not yet open to me, I am only looking through its window — you can close it too, but in any case, like the famous hero of a famous fairy tale — only my eyes will watch you for some time… not for long… I will dissolve in daily cares, in the people surrounding you… it's just that online, very rarely, but it still happens — a feeling is created that by communicating and not seeing a person, you begin to feel them… they say paradoxes also happen… not about that now… I cannot be offended by you if you come to a harsh decision… it will be your decision and I will accept it… we will live as before, but something will still remain inside us… maybe we will become even sadder and more thoughtful… and we will still mentally speak to each other… but time will pass and the castle we started building — will disappear… we fulfilled our duty to the external world — we have made it — we gave ourselves to our children — maybe we should rest? breathe pure oxygen and let our heads spin and then, if we cannot cope — sobriety of thought will come again and if we are not destined to meet in reality then we will draw our meetings in the cosmos of the network… , or maybe by creating them we will not even notice how we end up really in each other's embrace… who knows?… now I will answer — NO ONE… step into the abyss or stay on the edge — I have made my choice…

Author's E-mail: jеnmаil@mаil.ru