Forgiveness

The ring of my mobile phone woke me from sleep. Still not fully awake, I pressed the button and put the receiver to my ear.

 — Hello?

 — Hello... Sanechka? Hi! — answered a pleasant female voice that seemed familiar to me.

 — Hi.

 — It's me...

 — Who's me? — the voice was familiar, but I couldn't remember the caller's name.

 — Maybe you'll recognize me after all? — the voice asked, sounding a bit offended.

 — Or maybe you'll just introduce yourself? I don't feel like playing charades! — this was starting to irritate me.

There was silence on the line for a few seconds.

 — It's Nastya...

A flash! And immediately, memories came flooding back! Of course, Nastya! Only she called me "Sanechka" so sexily! Only she said "hi" so sweetly, stretching the word out! I had been trying to forget her for months! And just when I had succeeded, she reappears in my life.

We didn't date for long, but we loved each other deeply! At least, I loved her! I thought she loved me too, but apparently, I was wrong!

I knew I wasn't good enough for her. Of course, she was well-off, had some kind of her own company. Although she always said my financial situation didn't interest her.

And then something went wrong in our relationship. We started arguing more often and after arguments, we wouldn't talk for a long time. Usually, I was the first to apologize, but after one argument, I decided to show some character and waited for her to call. She didn't call for a long time. That hurt me, and I decided I definitely wouldn't be the first to apologize. Then I got busy with some things and got distracted! Before I knew it, more than a year had passed...

Then we finally got in touch. I found out she had gotten married and had a son. That upset me. What hurt me even more was that she suggested we stay friends. Being just a friend to the one I love! That's not for me. I told her so directly. That upset her. She called me a fool and said if I loved her, I would use any opportunity to be near her. I called her a few times after that, trying to rekindle the extinguished feelings. Apparently, she was afraid her husband would find out and asked me to forget her and not call anymore.

I also didn't want her to have trouble because of me, so I deleted her number. I couldn't forget her right away, but I managed eventually. Or rather, I didn't forget, but hid the memories of her in the farthest corners of my memory.

And suddenly this bitch calls me herself!

 — Ah, Nastya!! — anger was boiling inside me. — And what do you want, Nastya?

 — I missed you... I missed you so much... — she answered in a trembling voice.

I restrained myself from yelling at her.

 — Well, would you listen to that! She missed me!

 — Are you angry with me?

She even asks!

 — Of course, you're angry, — she continued. — I understand I hurt you.

She understands! She understands and calls!

 — Why are you silent? — she asked.

 — I'm trying to restrain myself and not be rude to you!

 — Aren't you glad I called?

That's when I lost it!

 — Glad? What should I be glad about? That you ran off with someone else, and now you're calling and talking nonsense?

She sniffled offendedly into the phone.

And I still couldn't calm down.

 — By the way, can you hear me now? — I asked.

 — Meaning? — she didn't understand.

 — Well, can you hear me now? — I repeated.

 — I hear you...

 — But you said if you ever heard from me again, your hubby would beat my face in! — I reminded her. — So, where is he? Where is this Rambo? I'm sitting here so scared, waiting for him!

 — Well, I didn't mean it like that...

 — What then? You should think before you speak!

I went too far! I heard her sob in the phone! That's all I needed! I must admit, I have a "thing" — I can't stand crying women! When a woman starts crying, I immediately melt and try to comfort her! Especially if the woman is crying because of me!

Naturally, Nastya knew about this weakness of mine! Apparently, she decided to defuse the situation! Although maybe she was genuinely upset.

 — Sorry! I didn't mean to offend you!

 — I understand — you're angry with me, — Nastya said in the same tearful voice.

A few more seconds of sobbing.

 — Did you miss me?

I didn't know what to answer.

 — You did, I know. — The tears disappeared from her voice, replaced by her usual self-confidence.

 — I did, — I admitted.

 — Why didn't you call me?

I was even speechless for a moment!

 — You told me not to call you! And to forget your number!

In response, she delivered a classic female line:

 — Not everything a woman says should be taken seriously!

Now I was completely confused!

 — How are you doing? — Nastya asked after a short silence.

 — Like ice on a frying pan... — I tried to joke.

 — Meaning?

 — I wish it were better...

Nastya giggled.

 — You're still just as funny!

 — I try...

We were silent for a minute! I didn't know what to say! I didn't want to be rude anymore, but I couldn't speak tenderly!

 — Let's meet? — Nastya suggested, gathering her thoughts.

 — Why?

 — Well, I missed you... I want to see you again...

 — Why do you need that? You have a family!

 — It's not a family... Not anymore... — Nastya answered with resentment in her voice.

We were silent again.

 — Well, Sanechka... Come on... I'm in the center now, shall I come to your area?

She didn't know my exact address, only the district. We always met at her place. Though she sold that apartment, so I didn't know her address either.

I don't know what came over me, but I really wanted to see her again.

 — Well, okay, let's! Come to the gas station in about forty minutes... — I named a gas station a 20-minute walk from my home.

She told me what car she was in and we said goodbye.

I looked at myself in the mirror. Yes, I could use a haircut and a shave, but there was no time. And I didn't feel like it. So I just took a shower.

Despite it being autumn, the weather was warm. I put on jeans, a shirt, and a light jacket.

I got to the place quickly. On the way, I remembered Nastya and tried to imagine how much she had changed. She used to be just a beauty! Short (just over 5'3"), not plump but not skinny either! Large beautiful breasts, a round butt that she swayed when walking, making everyone around drool. Slender legs, whose beauty she loved to emphasize with short skirts. And her face... Slightly tanned with large beautiful eyes, a turned-up nose, and bow-shaped lips. Plus, luxurious light brown hair! In short, a goddess!

I didn't spot the right car immediately. There were two or three similar ones. I don't know the make, something Asian. There are plenty of them in the city now. I think this body type is called a "station wagon." Nastya saw me first and, standing by the car, waved at me.

"She's changed," I thought as I approached.

Yes, changed, but not drastically. She had put on a little weight. Her breasts were bigger and her hips more massive. Her face was a bit gaunt, and there was some tiredness in her eyes.

She was dressed, as always, beautifully: a black tight skirt to the knees, a light sweater, and high black boots.

When I approached, Nastya hugged me and tried to kiss me. However, she pricked herself on my stubble.

 — You're prickly again! — she said, pouting.

She always did and said that when I hadn't shaved for a while. She just had very delicate skin on her face.

 — Didn't have time, sorry. — I replied.

Nastya sighed and kissed me on the lips! Carefully, trying not to get pricked. Then she took a step back and started looking me over. We stood like that for a minute or two. I was looking at her too and noticed something strange in her behavior. Something was off with her hands! She seemed not to know where to put them. She kept adjusting her skirt, smoothing her hair, rubbing her hands together. This puzzled me. Usually, people do that when they're nervous. Maybe Nastya was nervous about meeting me? Couldn't be.

 — Well, let's go somewhere. — She suddenly said.

We got in the car. Inside, it was smaller than it looked from the outside. I remembered her old car; that one was more spacious.

Nastya drove off the gas station and headed towards the residential courtyards. Her driving style had changed. There was a kind of preoccupation.

She noticed I wasn't very comfortable sitting and smiled.

 — Car too cramped? — Nastya asked.

 — No, it's fine... but the old one was better! — I replied. — What happened to the old one, by the way? Sold it?

 — It broke down. But I keep meaning to take it to a shop to get it fixed! Just no time... So I bought a new one.

We stopped near a kiosk. Nastya took her purse.

 — I'll buy some gum. Want me to get you anything?

 — No. Although, maybe some juice.

 — What kind?

 — Doesn't matter...

She smiled and started getting out of the car.

 — Can I smoke? — I asked.

 — Of course! — Nastya answered, somewhat flustered. — Just open the window.

Giving me a smile, she went to the kiosk. I opened the window and lit a cigarette.

Something's off with Nastya. She's acting strange. Probably problems with her husband. So, I'm like a lightning rod for her. Well, if she thinks I'll fall at her feet at her first call, she's sorely mistaken. No, of course I'm glad to see her and my feelings for her haven't gone anywhere. And there's attraction, but some barrier has been added. It will be hard for me to cross it. Maybe if I knew for sure that she sincerely wants me back... Then anything is possible.

Nastya came out of the kiosk and got in the car. She handed me a bottle of juice and a bottle of mineral water.

 — If you don't want the water, put it in the glove compartment for now. — She asked.

Nastya started the car.

 — Let's drive a bit, — she explained.

We drove deeper into the courtyard and stopped under a huge tree. Yellow fallen leaves lay like a solid carpet all around. Very romantic!

Nastya turned away from me, took out a mirror, quickly checked her face, fixed her hair, and turned back.

 — Well, tell me, how have you been? — she asked with a sweet smile.

 — What's there to tell... Same as always! How about you? How's your son?

 — Son's fine. He's with my parents now.

 — And how's Violet? — I asked, remembering she had a dog.

 — She's fine too. She's also with my parents.

 — Your parents must be having a fun time now. — I tried to joke.

 — Yeah. — She smiled.

 — Well, why are you so sad?

Nastya thought for a minute. Suddenly tears welled up in her eyes and, barely holding back from sobbing, she started to tell her story.

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