My old new self

"People come and go, but family happiness is eternal."

We have a good, close-knit family. It so happened that difficult life circumstances and my parents' selfless love for each other brought us together.

It all ended very symbolically. That year, I was already finishing school and planning my future life when everything suddenly collapsed. It was during the turbulent 90s, where everyone survived as best they could. Mom traveled to nearby foreign countries for cheap clothes and sold them here, in the Union. Everyone wanted a bright foreign life, so the clothes sold like hotcakes. Father worked somewhere in a semi-legal business. That's how we lived.

Loving each other, they easily overcame everything that stood in their way.

And then one day, in May, mom simply didn't return from her next shopping tour. Father immediately got worried, called all their acquaintances, and even went there himself, but it was all in vain. Her trail had gone cold. Of course, he filed a report with the police, but they replied that by law, she had to be missing for six months. Only then did he have the right to demand something. And already distrusting our police, he became even more disillusioned with them.

At first, he tried to hold on, but he did it worse and worse. Now he often sat with a bottle of vodka and simple snacks in the kitchen. I didn't bother him at such moments. After all, he had lost the person he loved, with whom he had lived for 20 years.

Basically, there were no problems with food. Since early childhood, I had been left home alone, sometimes for several days, and did everything myself. So we lived. So, there were no problems with the cleanliness of the house or food. I started to feel sorry for him. I saw how dad was suffering, he loved mom very much. If I had such love, I would be happy.

But I had no luck with girls. It's not that I was terrible-looking, I was just too plain. Not very tall, about 1 meter 70, unremarkable appearance and not broad shoulders closed the hearts of many girls to me, and I didn't want to love just anyone. I wanted a great love for life, like dad and mom had.

If he is suffering, then I need to help. I tried to create coziness and the effect of mom's presence. You know, all sorts of pleasant little things and attention can do a lot.

In June, I had already passed all my final exams and started thinking about where to study next. My efforts to bring dad to his senses also began to bear fruit. He started coming home from work in a good mood more often, praising me as a good housewife. Essentially, I was one. Sometimes he would slip up and call me Vera, my mom's name. I wasn't offended, the main thing was that he felt better.

One day he came home early and somehow joyfully excited.

— Verochka, do you remember what day it is today? — he asked right from the doorway.

— I don't remember. — I replied, not paying any attention to him addressing me like that. I really didn't remember.

— I remember, you were always the first to tell me, and now I've remembered too. — he burst into the kitchen, scooped me up in his arms and spun me around, completely confusing me. I wonder what day it is.

— Verunchik, today is our wedding anniversary! — It didn't dawn on me right away. He had confused me with my mom and thought that's how it should be!

I suddenly felt uneasy. Our game was taking a completely different turn, but it was too late to stop now. On the other hand, he would realize at some point that I'm not my mother. Of course, there is some resemblance, especially since I got most of my genes from her, but not that much. What, is he going to celebrate it with me?

The answer to my question was a huge bouquet that he solemnly presented to me. He even kissed me on the cheek afterwards.

— You are so beautiful. — he started showering my face with kisses, forgetting about everything. I just stood there waiting for it all to end. What else could I do? Saying it's not like that wouldn't work. He wouldn't listen, I know him.

The onslaught of affection ended and I looked into the eyes of a boy in love. How could I refuse such a look? I wonder how mom endured all this.

— Okay, okay. — I said conciliatorily.

— I knew you'd understand. Just please dress up nicely today, it's always jeans and t-shirts. — he went into the room. This was the second low blow. Now what, am I supposed to wear dresses and skirts?

The answer came by itself, in the form of dad. In his hands, he held a beautiful dress of mom's that she wore on special occasions.

— Is this for me? — I asked, stammering.

— Well, of course, silly, you love it so much. — he pushed me into the room with the dress in my hands and shouted through the door that I had half an hour while he prepared the festive table.

Now I was definitely in a panic. After all, I'm a guy and dressing up in women's rags was humiliating, but it was too late to prove anything to him. Somehow I put on the dress, and for that I had to change all my underwear and put on tights to hide my somewhat hairy legs. I primitively applied makeup so my face wouldn't contrast with the bright colors of the dress. I didn't forget the jewelry either. A gold chain with a heart and clip-on earrings with small metal hoops completed the look.

I stood in front of the mirror and examined myself. There was definitely something of mom in me. Both the facial features and the outlines of my figure. The dress highlighted all of it and I was completely bewildered by myself. Despite the piquancy of the situation, I liked myself like this.

And what if I styled my hair like this? I pulled myself together. What was I even thinking.

— Verochka, I missed you. — my self-admiration was interrupted by a knock on the door.

— Coming, coming. — throwing one last appraising glance at myself, I stepped over the threshold of the room.

— Now that's more like it! — dad, now just Andrey, came up to me, hugged me, and for the first time truly kissed me. In that regard, I wasn't a virgin, but I liked his kiss, despite the unnaturalness of the situation.

"So what if it's like this. From one kiss, especially with my father, I won't become gay," I reassured myself.

The evening went great. We drank wine, danced, talked, and all the attention was directed only at me. I liked it. I even envied women a little. It gave me the strength to behave like a lady, and by the end of the evening I had completely settled into my new role.

However, the problem still remained. Sooner or later he would see that I am not Vera. Besides, I didn't really want to sleep with a man, and all men definitely want that. I know that.

In the morning, I firmly decided to talk to him. When I entered the kitchen, he was already drinking his morning tea and watching TV. Turning it off, I decisively said we needed to talk about yesterday.

— Umm... son, Vera, sorry, I forgot your name. — dad looked like a drug addict. He was capable of understanding the situation, but not of controlling it.

— You know, you're right. But when I see you, I suddenly remember mom right away, and you look so much like her. Especially, like yesterday, in the dress. I'm trying, but I can't. Will you stay with me like that a little longer? — he said contritely.

Well, that's it. I wanted to tell him everything I thought, but he confessed and even asked for more. My resolve evaporated somewhere and now I was ready for a new feat. Unable to withstand his pleading look, I ran to the room to change.

One side of me demanded to stop everything, the other was frankly enjoying it. So, in mental anguish, I chose one of mom's house dresses from her arsenal. Today it was easier to get ready. I didn't need to put on much makeup, and the absurdity of the situation wouldn't hurt to show on my face.

— So, do you like it? — I tried to understand from my father's confused face what he thought about all this.

— Mom's dresses suit you. — father said quietly. — There's too much of mom in you. Wear them more often. Please.

He started crying quietly. I didn't... but came over and sat down next to him, putting my hand on his. Impulsively hugging me, he buried his face in my shoulder and began to sob loudly. How could I not pity him? I started stroking his head with my hands, murmuring something. The tears stopped.

— Thank you,... Verochka.

I was about to get up and take off this dress when he unexpectedly pulled me to him and kissed me firmly, in a manly way, on the lips. Paying no attention to my attempts to break free, he kissed me like a beloved woman, deeply, demandingly, but at the same time, tenderly. After a while, I stopped resisting and began to accept the affection, actively kissing him back. To be honest, this whole situation with the dress had turned me on and now I only wanted it to continue.

But it all ended unexpectedly, leaving an aftertaste of unfulfilled attention.

— Sorry. — he said, moving away to the living room. The TV hissed, broadcasting the latest news, and I, dressed up like a girl, sat in the kitchen and didn't know what to think next.

It turned out that I not only didn't stop this circus, but I myself wanted to participate in it. Only my role turned out to be female. And what to do now? Going to clarify the relationship again was not an option. He wouldn't understand, and I might provoke him. In a distressed state, I went to change.

For the rest of the day, we diligently avoided each other. We were both ashamed of the situation that had arisen.

The thought flashed to drop everything and run away so there would be no temptation. I didn't get to think about it for long. I just imagined if he lost his Vera a second time. I definitely wouldn't be able to bear it. Okay, I'll try to play along. Maybe everything will work out.

Life went on and dad was the first to take a step towards reconciliation. Saying he wanted to make amends, he apologized for everything and asked for my understanding. I understood him, so I forgave him, saying he could call me whatever was convenient, as a compromise.

We understood each other and peace in the family was restored again. But nothing lasts forever. Father's phobia again demanded a sacrifice. About a week later, he, as if by chance, asked why I wasn't wearing the robe he had given me.

"After all, it's so comfortable and you used to love it," he remarked.

I wanted to protest that I'm not a woman and not my mom, but I didn't. And there was no one to tell. Father had already left, saying he would be late from work today.

I hung this robe on the wardrobe door and walked around it for a long time, not daring to put it on or not. When the clock hand approached five in the evening, I couldn't stand it and started putting it on. Well, not bad. I appraised myself in the mirror. I changed my underwear to women's and put padding in the bra cups, and it became even better. I'll try to shock him with this look today, and then we'll see.

The look really turned out to be winning, as I was convinced by observing father's reaction.

— Verochka — he hugged me — you look much better. I told you.

Later, the evening unfolded as usual, except that dad was a little shy. Nothing criminal happened and father's mood didn't drop. In general, everything turned out not so bad. Having decided to extend this experiment, I calmly went to sleep.

Half a month passed since then and we both had already gotten used to the established state of affairs. Dad only called me Vera. I dressed at home accordingly. I even learned a little how to put on makeup and style my hair nicely. About them, a separate conversation. At father's request, I got a hairstyle somewhat similar to the one mom wore. My hair had grown during this time and allowed me to do it. This further enhanced our resemblance, but I didn't care. She was my mom, why can't I look like her?

Sometimes he allowed himself to hug me briefly and kiss me with the hottest kiss he was capable of. I even started to like it. Sometimes I noticed that I was glancing at the clock and licking my lips, remembering his lips on mine.

So the fifth of July approached. As usual, fussing in the kitchen, I heard father come home. The creak of the floorboards told me he was coming here. I licked my lips in anticipation. Turning around, I was stunned. He stood there all solemn and radiant, and was giving me a huge bouquet of tulips.

— Thank you, but for what? — I asked in surprise.

— I didn't think you would forget your birthday. — dad was clearly on a high.

Thousands of thoughts raced through my head, one of which was that today was indeed my mom's birthday. Or mine? I didn't have time to answer anything before father "delighted" me with the news that today we were going to a restaurant and just for a walk.

What "restaurant," what "walk"? Surely he would want me to do it in a female guise. Mom was an attractive woman, after all.

— Okay, I understand you need to get ready. — he said, directing me to the room with clothes.

— And put on that blue dress I gave you a year ago. — with these words, I found myself in front of the wardrobe with mom's clothes and the choice of "to wear or not."

— Is half an hour enough for you? Good. Get ready, we have a table booked in an hour. — the door closed.

I understood everything. He misses her, loves her, but all this was at home. And now he's suggesting going out in all this. What if someone recognizes me? I dismissed the thought. I'll have to go anyway, I have no other option now. I started getting dressed, carefully adjusting every fold. The tights easily slid onto my legs, especially since they were completely shaved. Try putting on a beautiful short robe over such hairy legs and you'll shave them yourself.

Having dealt with the clothes relatively easily, I started on the makeup. Today I tried especially hard and it even turned out quite decently. Only now I looked even more like mom.

However, despite my fears, the dinner at the restaurant and the walk along the evening boulevard passed without incident. By the end of dinner, I had relaxed and began to perceive the walk as a pleasure. Apparently, Andrey understood this and his hand constantly wandered from my "waist" to my butt, along my back and back again. In general, I really liked the evening. Sometimes I looked at my companion and noted his features. And mom was right to fall in love with such a handsome man. He really was very attractive. Sometimes I just wanted to hug him and cover him with kisses. But I restrained myself. There were people around and who knows what they would think.

We came home late. It was good that the entrance was dark. On the stairs, we met our neighbor, and he might have noticed my subtle, but existing, differences from Vera. Later we laughed for a long time, imagining his face if he knew who he was greeting.

Without asking me, and I was already used to it, he took out wine, poured it, and proposed a toast "to my beauty." I was completely not against it and gladly drank the intoxicating drink. And now, finally, he takes me in his arms and kisses me. Long and sweet. How long I had been waiting for this. I even threw my arms around his neck, like girls do, and stretched out completely to my