My Film Career. Part 16
The next morning, as Seryozha and I were getting ready for work, I felt a strong tension between us. I felt terribly ashamed in front of him for yesterday. After I gave myself to the director at the casting, while Seryozha was waiting for me downstairs, completely unsuspecting—I couldn't look him in the eyes. He knew that today was my first day at the porn studio, and this knowledge weighed on both of us like a thundercloud. Conversation wasn't flowing; we ate breakfast in silence, trying not to meet each other's gaze. Seryozha was the first to speak:
– Katya, you're going there today... well, to the studio... where they shoot porn? — Seryozha's voice trembled, betraying his confusion and anxiety.
– Yes, today
is the first day, — I replied, lowering my eyes.– And do you know what you'll be doing? What kind of scenes? – he asked, and a flicker of anxiety appeared in his tone.
– No, the director said he'd start bringing me up to speed, but didn't specify exactly what, – I shrugged, trying to sound calm, though everything inside me was clenching. – I think there won't be any filming today, more like an orientation and... training.
The word "training" slipped out on its own, and I immediately regretted it. It hung in the air, ambiguous and provocative, like a hint that I would be "taught" to take a cock in my mouth or spread my legs in front of the camera. I noticed Seryozha tense up—he must have also imagined me being "trained" in the studio, on my knees, with a stranger's cock in my mouth. My cheeks flushed and I felt terribly ashamed again.
– Katya, I understand that I'm to blame for all of this, – he began, looking at the table, his voice trembling. – I'll try to fix everything. But promise me you won't... – he hesitated, searching for words, — won't agree to sex scenes. Of course, I don't like that you gave a blowjob during the shoot, but since it already happened, I can't change anything. I love you too much and, to atone for my guilt, I'm ready to accept that you'll be filming scenes with blowjobs. But I'm not a cuckold. I don't want you to cheat on me with other men.
His words stung me. I looked up at him, still burning with shame.
– Of course, I won't cheat on you, — I said, trying to sound firm, though my voice trembled slightly. – I love only you. And I already said I'd only film scenes with blowjobs. And, of course, I myself don't want to film in... porn. But we have no choice, we've already discussed it.
As I said this, a slight spark of excitement flared up inside. I imagined myself in the studio: naked, on my knees, with a hard cock in my mouth, under the lens of cameras and the gaze of strangers, and I realized I was lying when I said I didn't want these shoots.
Seryozha nodded, his shoulders relaxed a little, but a shadow of anxiety remained in his eyes.
– I understand that you don't want this either, – he said quietly. – You're very responsible, and I see you're ready to sacrifice yourself for me. But I'm afraid the director will take advantage of your situation and pressure you to film other scenes. Katyusha, if my support helps you, I think I could even come to the studio, though I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't want to see you with other men. – He thought for a second, his cheeks reddening. – But if my presence gives you confidence and helps you not give in to the director's persuasion, then I'm ready to endure this shame. He said with a sigh.
His words surprised me. I was sure he would never want to come to my shoots again. Maybe he really was afraid I could be persuaded into sex scenes. Probably, his suspicions weren't unfounded. After yesterday's "casting" with the director, I wouldn't be surprised by anything anymore. I don't know if Seryozha's presence would have helped me—most likely, on the contrary, I'd be afraid he'd see too much. But I didn't want to hurt him; he was already suffering. Besides, Natasha's plan suddenly surfaced in my head—to get Seryozha used to my filming in sexual scenes calmly, so he'd accept that I started doing this long before he found out. I don't know if Natasha's plan was still in effect or had already lost its relevance, but I decided to play it safe.
– Thank you, darling, I'll definitely think about it, – I replied, trying to sound sincere. – Your support is very important to me. I don't want to feel like some kind of... slut. I don't want to do anything behind your back. But you don't need to come with me today—it's the first day, orientation, I'll be getting up to speed. I'm not even sure if there will be a rehearsal today.
– Katyusha, you're not a slut, – his voice became firmer, he looked me in the eyes. – You're my wife, and I love you very much. Please don't think of yourself that way and know that I'm very grateful to you.
I smiled gratefully and hugged him, pressing my whole body against him. He hugged me back, his hands tightly squeezing my waist, and we kissed. Seryozha started stroking my ass, and I felt his cock harden under his pants, pressing against my stomach. Something inside me trembled—I realized he wanted me, but glancing at the clock, I realized there was no time.
– Darling, we need to get ready for work, – I said, reluctantly breaking the embrace.
I sat in the minibus, lost in thought, and my head spun from the realization that I was going to work at a porn studio. Just a week ago, I wouldn't have believed that I'd be routinely getting ready and going to film porn. It seemed unthinkable, but now it was really happening to me. Gradually, I began to imagine what awaited me today, and even fantasized a little. At first, a blowjob scene flashed in my head, but soon my imagination ran wild and I saw myself in a group sex scene. I imagined three men fucking me at the same time—one roughly shoving his cock into my mouth, his hands gripping the back of my head, making me gag, while the other two stretched me from behind, their thick cocks pulsating, filling my pussy and ass to the limit.
At some point, I realized I had gotten so aroused by my thoughts that my panties were soaked through. I sat with my legs clenched, breathing heavily, and my hardened nipples protruded through my bra and dress, betraying my state. I needed to calm down, chase away these images, but they clung like cobwebs. Then I noticed a young guy sitting next to me—he had sat down while I was lost in fantasies, and now he was glancing at my heaving chest. I blushed, turned to the window, but the feeling was as if everyone around could see my arousal, smell it, understand that I was all wet down below. The heat of shame mixed with a pulsating desire, and I bit my lip, trying to pull myself together.
Getting out of the minibus and feeling a gust of fresh air, I felt relief. A five-minute walk—and there I was, standing in front of the studio building, feeling my heart beat a little faster from anticipation and anxiety.
Going up to the right floor, I entered the studio and looked around. This time it was bright and noisy: the bustle of staff preparing the set for filming filled the space with life. The spotlight lights were blinding, and somewhere in the distance, a woman's ringing laughter could be heard. I froze, not knowing where to go, and decided to head to the director's office—the same one who conducted my "casting" yesterday. On the way, I encountered people—staff or actors—but their glances slid past, not noticing me. Reaching the door, I timidly knocked.
– Yes, come in, — a voice came from inside.
I pushed the door and entered. In front of me sat Mikhail Grigorievich—yesterday's director, who under the pretext of a casting had so unceremoniously used me. Memories flooded back of how his cock moved in my mouth, and then how he entered me right on the table. My cheeks flushed, and a dull ache of humiliation mixed with simultaneous excitement throbbed in my lower abdomen.
– Oh, Katya, good morning! Glad to see you, – he exclaimed, looking up from his papers with a broad smile. – Sorry, got caught up and completely forgot today is your first day.
– Good morning, Mikhail Grigorievich, – I forced out, trying to suppress the tremor in my voice. – I'm glad to see you too. I'm ready to start work, what do I need to do?
Of course, I was lying. Seeing him was unpleasant as it reminded me of my betrayal of Seryozha yesterday. But the money was urgently needed, and I swallowed my pride.
– Katya, I appreciate your zeal, but tell me, have you had coffee yet? — he suddenly asked, squinting.
– No, — I replied, confused by his unexpected concern.
– Then let's go, we'll get coffee, and I'll introduce you to the team, — he said, rising from the desk.
– Gentlemen actors, meet our new girl, – announced Mikhail Grigorievich, his voice loud, with a slight mockery. – This is Katya, a beginner but very talented actress. She'll be joining the film shoots and will be working with some of you.
Greetings and compliments poured in from all sides, but their tone was laced with ambiguity. The male actors vied to assure me they'd be happy to "work" with me, and I understood perfectly well what kind of scenes they meant. Their gazes—greedy, undressing—slid over my body, appraising me. Heat rushed to my cheeks, my heart beat faster, and I lowered my eyes from involuntary embarrassment.
– Alright, enough, leave Katya alone, – the director intervened, his voice becoming harsher. – Or I feel like you'll give her a "group initiation" right now, – he added with a smirk.
– Well, we could, – snorted a young guy, slapping the shoulder of a black man standing next to him. – Though no, not all at once. George will have to wait with his half-meter monster.
The crowd erupted in loud laughter, which made my ears ring. I lowered my eyes, feeling my face redden with embarrassment.
– Okay, settle down, time to prepare for the shoot, – the director barked, bringing everyone back to business.
– Mikhail Grigorievich, have you been told that Natalie is sick and won't be coming today? – asked one of the men in a concerned voice. – How will we film the scene with Monika without support? He added.
– Yes, Natalie warned me she probably won't be here all week, maybe longer, – the director replied, frowning. – You can't work with your mouth when you have a sore throat. But it's okay, Katya can replace her and also practice before her first role.
Hearing my name and the hint at a role, I raised my eyes, my heart pounding with vague anxiety.
– Excuse me, Mikhail Grigorievich, who is Natalie and what role does she film? – I asked, trying to speak calmly.
– Natalie is our fluffer, helps in scenes, – the director tossed off casually. – I'll explain everything to you later.
– And a fluffer is a role like that? – I asked again, feeling how naive my words sounded.
Immediately, a new burst of laughter erupted, and one of the actors shouted:
– Yes, the most important role!
I realized I'd said something stupid, and my cheeks burned with heat again. The actors' laughter grated on my ears, like mockery of my inexperience.
– Alright, Katya, let's go, I'll brief you in the office, – said the director, heading for the door. – And all of you—get ready for the shoot.
I trudged after him, hearing the actors' voices buzzing behind me—they were discussing me, continuing to joke. In the office, Mikhail Grigorievich closed the door, cutting off the external noise, and I was left alone with him. He sat at the desk, gesturing for me to take the chair opposite, and I sat down, awaiting further instructions.
– So, let's see. Said Mikhail Grigorievich opening his notes. – Yesterday you said you wanted to start with oral sex scenes, that's fine. You also asked to try you in a "deep throat" scene... Hmm, not bad, we'll definitely try. Golden shower isn't planned yet, we'll leave that for later. Well, I think I'm clear about you, – said the director, looking up from the questionnaire and shifting his gaze to me sitting opposite. – Right now I'm filming a gangbang scene, I already have an actress for that, and you're not ready for that yet. But I was planning to shoot a scene of hard oral sex with deep penetration. I have plenty of men for that, but I haven't chosen an actress yet. So we'll do auditions and if you manage, the scene is yours.
I sat there, gripping the chair, my fingers digging into the upholstery, and my heart beating as if it wanted to jump out of my chest. His words buzzed in my head as I tried to assemble them into a coherent picture.
– Mikhail Grigorievich, I didn't quite understand... In this scene, what exactly do I need to do? And what is a gangbang? Is it somehow related to my scene? – my voice trembled, and my throat was dry.
He sighed, a flicker of irritation in his gaze. Leaning back in his chair, he looked at me as if I were a child who hadn't learned the lesson.
– Katya, if you want to work in our industry, you need to brush up on theory. Read up on terms, watch some porn to at least have some understanding. Gangbang is group sex, many men and one woman. For that scene, I already have an actress—Monika, you saw her, the blonde with the big tits. I'm offering you a different scene—just oral, as you requested. But not vanilla blowjob, I don't shoot that, too cheap, but a hard one, with fucking deep in the throat, "deep throat." First, I'll try you with one partner, and if you manage, you'll get a scene with two or three—I haven't decided yet. Is everything clear? – the director asked reproachfully.
Learning that a gangbang wasn't threatening me, I exhaled, the tension easing slightly. He was offering a scene with a throat blowjob—the very "deep throat" he talked about yesterday, promising two thousand dollars for it. The thought of money flared brightest in my head—they were needed like air. Though I was terribly ashamed, I was ready to go through with it to solve our problems with Seryozha.
– Mikhail Grigorievich, do I remember correctly that the payment for this scene is two thousand dollars? – my voice cracked on the last word, and my face burned, betraying my confusion.
– Katya, two thousand is the maximum fee I pay for very hard scenes, mostly involving George. But it's too early for you to work with him yet, so your fee will be a maximum of one thousand, — said the director firmly.
To say I was disappointed is an understatement. Even two thousand would have been insufficient in our situation, and one thousand is just a drop in the ocean. I needed to increase my fee at all costs, otherwise all the sacrifices would be in vain.
– Mikhail Grigorievich, I would really like to work with George, if possible, — I pleaded, trying to hide the tremor in my voice. — Please, I assure you, I'll manage, and you won't regret it.
I added, though I had no idea who George was.
– Katya, I remember you said you needed money, but I must warn you: George has a very large tool, — the director looked at me with slight concern. – You should start with ordinary sizes.
– Mikhail Grigorievich, I'll manage, — I insisted, feeling the heat flooding my cheeks. — I already have experience with big cocks. You'll see, I can handle George too. I replied and caught myself.
I remembered Volody