The Magic of Masturbation or A Study Guide on Masturbation
As befits any textbook, let's start with theory and history.
Onanism is the phenomenon (from Greek onanism). Masturbation is the process itself (from Latin masturbatio).
I. Scientific schools and the content of onanism.
There are several definitions of onanism. This is due to the existence of several scientific schools. The most famous is the Rotterdam Center for Self-Satisfaction. Here, in a small Dutch town, the art of handiwork is studied seriously and meticulously. Moreover, it is not only studied but also very successfully promoted to the masses. The Rotterdam Center for Self-Satisfaction periodically conducts masturbation courses. There is no shortage of those wishing to master the
101st method of handiwork! The Center's staff not only teach the theoretical foundations of this applied discipline but also train in very original methods of self-satisfaction. These include, for example, the blending of onanism and aesthetic pleasure. Contemplating natural landscapes during masturbation, admiring paintings by Van Gogh and Rembrandt, listening to classical music. The Center's teachers teach: self-satisfaction is a creative and diverse process. Only here can you be told about at least 300 methods of self-satisfaction. Well, for goodness' sake, who would think of pitting a peach, removing the pit, filling the resulting cavity with ice cream, in order to, by inserting one's penis into the sweet hole, "have" that very "peach" in the most perverted form? By the way, upon completion of the courses, each "student" receives a certificate as a specialist in teaching female and male masturbation. The problems of onanism were studied by prominent American scientists Masters and Johnson.Now more about the definitions.
Onanism is sexual self-satisfaction achieved through stimulation of erogenous zones or psychological arousal, when fantasies on sexual themes lead to experiencing orgasm without any manipulations. Sexual satisfaction in onanism is not complete due to the separation of bodily sensation from real communication and emotional connection with another person, which is most important for normal adult sexuality. Another unfavorable aspect of onanism is that it is usually accompanied by vivid erotic images, fixation on which can lead to a decrease in the value of real experiences of adequate sexual life.
Onanism (onanism) is the self-satisfaction of sexual feeling by stimulating the external (in women - internal) genital organs with hands or other objects. Synonyms: masturbation, handiwork, or the childhood sin, dry-fucking. The word onanism comes from the name Onan. Onan was the grandson of the biblical hero Jacob, who wrestled with God and received the nickname Israel. Onan was forced to marry his deceased brother's wife for the sake of an heir, but, as stated in the Scripture, "Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother" (Gen. 38:9). In general, Jacob was unlucky. His son Joseph (he would later become a dream interpreter for the Egyptian pharaoh and have a successful career) was gay. But that's another story.
Onanism is practiced by 90% of men and from 20 to 50% of women. The relativity of the number of women is explained by the fact that women can relieve sexual tension through emotional experiences.
II. Functions of onanism.
Well, firstly, relieving sexual tension during periods when normal sexual intercourse is impossible, in adolescence, and for other reasons.
Secondly, there is medical benefit: prostate massage, prevention of female problems: fibroids and cancer.
Thirdly, obtaining additional sensations during normal sexual life.
III. Methods and types.
1. Types.
Onanism is classified by age and gender, as well as by psychological attitude towards the process.
By age criterion: childhood, adolescent, adult.
By gender criterion: male and female.
By psychological attitude: associated with hypersexuality, obsessive, out of necessity (medical) - "doctor's orders".
2. Methods.
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Male methods.
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Prevalence of different forms of masturbation among men (Hite, 1978):
Manual stimulation of the penis - 82%
Rubbing against the bed lying on the stomach - 15%
Squeezing thighs - 1%
Water massage - 0.5%
Self-fellation (oral stimulation) - 0.5%
I will mainly talk about exotic methods.
1. Sit on your right hand and continue sitting until it goes numb. The stronger, the better. If you've waited, then masturbate with the numb hand. The sensation is as if someone else is helping you in this labor.
2. Take a vacuum cleaner, insert your penis into it, plug the vacuum cleaner into the socket. Don't get too carried away, or you might be left without dignity.
3. If you are a farmer, you can use an automatic milking machine. But note - it only turns off after collecting at least 3 liters of fluid 🙂
4. Take a simple blood pressure monitor, attach it to the penis, pump the bulb to the desired size, greater intensity will be provided by any object lubricated with Vaseline and inserted into the anus.
5. Find a banana similar in "dimensions" to an erect penis. The skin should not be too tight for the penis, but it shouldn't be too loose either. Cut off one end of the banana, and squeeze out the pulp through it. You'll get something very close in sensation to a real vagina. Insert the penis inside and begin the usual movements. A crazy orgasm will occur very soon - it's extremely difficult to hold back!
6. Put several large-sized condoms (6-7) on the penis. The sensations are unforgettable.
7. An elementary method of masturbation. Go into the bathroom. Fill the bathtub with warm water. Get comfortable in it. Direct the shower stream onto the penis, adjust the pressure, temperature, direction. Do not touch the penis with your hands until you finish. The sensations are very vivid.
8. Take a speaker (dynamic head) and connect it to a source of vibrations, for example, a step-down transformer of alternating voltage, so that the speaker starts vibrating. The diaphragm in the speaker begins to vibrate. In the center of the speaker, there is a round convexity, so move it along the frenulum of the penis and get a lot of pleasure.
9. Take a box, like a plastic sandwich box. Now put a little Vaseline in this box, then put your penis in the box, and put more Vaseline on and around your penis, as much as possible. Close the box without removing the penis from it. Kneel in front of the bed, lift the mattress and place the box with the penis between the mattress and the bed itself. Now start moving as if you're fucking a girl.
10. Take a cucumber, thicker than your erect penis. Cut off the "butt" of the cucumber and remove the seeds and pulp from there so that there is a cavity inside matching the size of the penis. Warm the cucumber a little in the microwave (or in warm water - as convenient), and now put it on the penis. You can move the cucumber up and down, you can twist it clockwise and counterclockwise.
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Female methods.
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Prevalence of different forms of masturbation among women:
Manual stimulation of the clitoral/vulvar area - 48%
Stimulation of the clitoral/vulvar area with a vibrator - 26%
Insertion of various objects into the vagina - 10%
Rubbing against some object - 6%
Squeezing thighs - 4%
Water massage - 4%
Other methods (e.g., thermometer in the urethra) - 2%
1. An ordinary massager can be used to provide very intense clitoral stimulation. Direct impact of the massager on the clitoris can lead to unbearably strong irritation.
Stimulation is so strong that often it is enough to simply move the massager along the edge of the vaginal entrance or along the labia.
2. Roll up some cloth item. Put it in a non-rigid plastic bag so as not to stain the item and for sliding. However, you can lubricate one side with something, then you won't have to wait for arousal and lubrication. Place this item between your labia and further, as far as the length allows. Do not insert it into the vagina. Put on tight-fitting panties or pants that are a bit small for you. Now during movements, your clitoris will be massaged, and your hands will be free. You can walk like this, dance belly dance, rotate your hips, lying on the sofa. Orgasm will occur very soon. This method is very good because it can be modified each time according to your desires. You can insert something into the anus, into the vagina, or both simultaneously. So, for the anus, a used lipstick is recommended, because the caps usually have rounded ends, which ensures ease of insertion, and for the vagina, you can use a small soap dish, like those given in hotels, with a piece of soap inside, during movements the soap will knock against the walls of the soap dish, the sensation is cool, orgasm is even faster.
3. Place two fingers of any hand on the clitoris. Move them in a circle on the top of the clitoris. During masturbation, you can change the pressure and speed. You can experience orgasm in just a minute. If necessary, fingers can be lubricated with oil or cream.
4. Some women can achieve sexual arousal, and even orgasm simply by squeezing their thighs or rubbing them together, indirectly stimulating the clitoris in this way. Sometimes they do this in public places. If you see a woman with crossed legs, bending over intensely and tensely squeezing her thighs, she is probably experiencing much more pleasant sensations than one might think (especially if she is shaking her leg to hide the movements of her hips, breathing unusually quickly and deeply, pressing a magazine or bag to her lower abdomen, blushing). A long trip on public transport? Sedentary work at a desk? No problem. Some recommendations to start. If you masturbate at home, make it a rule to squeeze your thighs together when orgasm occurs. After this becomes second nature, squeeze your thighs at the moment when you can no longer stop on the way to orgasm (but haven't reached it yet), take your hands away, let your thighs bring you to climax. Sometimes it won't work, but the result is worth it. Gradually, with the help of fantasies and pleasant associations, you will be able to manage only with your thighs at an earlier stage of the masturbation act.
5. With the fingers of one hand, you play with your clitoris. Place two or three fingers inside the vagina and start "pushing." "Double" stimulation can lead to a very high-quality orgasm.
6. Stimulation with a stream of water is most easily achieved with a shower. Remove the spray nozzle, direct the stream of water directly onto the clitoris and the entrance to the vagina, adjust the temperature and water pressure according to your sensations. It's best to start with a small water pressure and gradually increase it. Of course, the greater the pressure, the stronger the stimulation. Warm water usually gives the best effect, but be careful not to burn yourself. Many women can achieve orgasm with such clitoral stimulation within a few minutes.
7. Turn towards the stream of water flowing from the tap, position the clitoris in the path of the stream. Start from a great distance and gradually move closer until you find a suitable position.
8. This technique is a bit specific, it works for some, for others it doesn't. Use your left hand to hold the lips so that the clitoris is very protruded. With the index finger of your right hand, with the tip, begin to "play" with the clitoris. As a rule, everything ends with a delightful orgasm when there is no strength to hold back.
9. Fill the bathtub with warm water approximately halfway. Lie on your back so that your buttocks are directed towards the side where the water tap is. Position the entrance to the vagina under the tap. Adjust the temperature and water pressure according to your desire; you may have to lift your pelvis so that the stream of water hits the entrance to the vagina. Try to spread the labia with your hands so that the stream of water can hit the clitoris directly.
IV. Political collisions.
On May 13, 2002, deputy Vladimir Semenov, in response to the proposal of the leader of the "People's Deputy" group Gennady Raikov "to strengthen the morality of society" by banning homosexuality, remembered the sweet childhood vice and came up with the idea to also ban "onanism, masturbation, handiwork, performed not only with the help of one's own body parts (hands), but also with the use of improvised, mechanical or electrical means." Onanism, in his opinion, "differs from the dominant model of sexual behavior in society, and it must be classified as a sexual perversion," for which a fine of five to 20 minimum wages should be imposed.
Well, what can I say, jerk off correctly!
Onanism is not handiwork, it is an art!
Only alcohol and onanism strengthen the body!
I don't suffer from perversions, I enjoy them!
alexiceschneider@rambler.ru