They looked at this apple without fear or reproach, and it looked back at them, smiling tenderly with its different sides.

If I were a man, thought the apple, I would lay this woman down on the virgin grass, and, without waiting for the tremors of her fallen body to subside, would gently run, wagging my tail—first over her plump lips, then would circle around the milky, downy hills, risking a fall into the fragrant abyss of the armpits, to then, boldly breaking away, roll like a brave little ball, lightly tapping with a sturdy club, through this gentle valley with its extinct volcano of a navel straight to the coveted Tsargrad gates—to take them in hand-to-hand combat, flooding the surroundings with sweat, blood, and sweet honey.

If I were a woman, thought the apple, I would playfully leap like a tender kitten onto these sultry shoulders, then, lightly scratching, descend to the coveted, beautiful torso to press close to the source of true delight…

The loathsome freak holding the apple firmly in his hands lazily dropped it onto the woman's chest—oops—she, with a sudden sweep of her hand, seized the treasure of life. "Now we will live forever," she laughed for some reason, biting into its sides…

When the apple reached the man, the woman was already melting with delight, timidly stroking the shoulders of her…

Now they stood before the one who had previously seemed to them a loathsome freak, dully listening to a brief lecture on sex education. The man, with one hand, was slightly embarrassed as he stroked her buttocks, and with the other—was curiously fingering the vertical lips. She was also slightly embarrassed—with one hand she tried to embrace his torso, and with the other—to hold onto his little friend, whose purpose had just been revealed to her by the lecturer.

And they began to be fruitful and multiply. Yes, and they were expelled from their former place of residence for indecent behavior. But they began to procure sustenance for themselves and their growing family, including little Abram…

Aphrodite Pandemos

Stories by this author

Apple diet and sexual abstinence